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Counseling and Divorce Q&AThe Gitlin
Law Firm, P.C., Woodstock, Illinois © 2008
Q:What is your view about counseling? Should a client going through divorce, contested paternity or custody proceedings be in counseling?A:The Gitlin Law Firm recommends all clients going through divorce or custody proceedings should attend regular counseling. This is consistent with the American Bar Association Section of Family Law Civility Standards. They urge the family lawyer to, "Be aware of counseling resources and be prepared to refer the client to counseling where appropriate."
Q:Why is going through counseling in a divorce case important?A:The first reason counseling is important is the stress of divorce or custody proceedings. Studies indicate that among the most stressful events in a person's life are divorce, a move and the death of a close friend or a family member. In the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory, divorce is the number two stressor in terms of "life events." Often a divorce case involves two of these stressful events. It is in part because of this reason that I urge all of my clients to attend regular counseling. Another advantage to a client's regular attendance at counseling is that The Gitlin Law Firm has found that counseling is cost effective because often it will result in lowering the amount of overall fees that would be spent in a case. Part of the reason that fees may be reduced is when clients who are involved in counseling communicate with their lawyer, the communication is directed toward matters which are more clearly pertinent to the management of the client's case. A third advantage to counseling through divorce is that divorce involves a grief process.
Q:Wouldn't counseling be a negative if I am involved in custody proceedings?A:Generally, the answer is no. First, Illinois has one of the strongest laws in the nation as to confidentiality of mental health communications. Communications with a counselor are confidential. There are several exceptions including an exception if mental health is “at issue” in the proceedings. However, Illinois law also provides that mental health is not deemed to be at issue merely because the other spouse claims that it is at issue.
Q:I am taking an antidepressant. Will this hurt my chances of obtaining custody?A:My experience is that generally the answer is no. I have not yet had a case where the custody evaluator or the court found that the mere fact that a party was on anti-depressants was an issue in terms of a custody award. What I believe is more important than whether a party takes certain medication is whether any depression is long term or related to the divorce; whether the party while on anti-depressants is a good parent, etc. In short, the emphasis of the court is on parenting skills, which parent is the primary caretaker, etc. The only caveat to the above information is that one of the custody factors considered in divorce or parentage cases is the mental health of the parties and the children.
Q:Are there means of protecting my communications with a mental health professional to a greater degree?A:There may be. For example, your divorce lawyer might wish to consult with a mental health professional on a periodic basis as to the management of the case. If this is the case, then it may make sense for the lawyer to engage the services of the mental health professional as a consultant. Generally, under Illinois law a consultant's work product is protected from disclosure.
Q:What resources are available regarding how to cope successfully with a divorce?A:One excellent resource available online is the book, Divorce and New Beginnings, 2nd Ed., by Genevive Clapp, Ph.D. including the chapter Laying the Foundation: Coping Successfully with Divorce. I also ask clients to be aware that in divorces there is generally one spouse who has come to the decision to divoirce, traditionally called the leaver spouse and one spouse who does not want a divorce. It is important to understand that the so called Kubler Ross stages of grief play a role in divorce cases as well as to understand that the stages are not do not necessarily follow one another in a logical progression.
The Gitlin Law Firm, P.C., provides the above information as a service to potential and current clients. A person's accessing the information contained in this web site, is not considered as retaining The Gitlin Law Firm for any case nor is it considered as providing legal advice. The Gitlin Law Firm cannot guarantee the outcome of any case. The Gitlin Law
Firm, P.C. www.gitlinlawfirm.com
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