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General Books and Literature About Divorce

The Gitlin Law Firm, P.C., Woodstock, Illinois © 2011
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Q:Are there good general books about the divorce process?

A:Yes. I believe it is worthwhile to read a general book about the divorce process. Doing so may help reduce the cost of attorney’s fees. However, they can be of no substitute for retaining a lawyer and obtaining independent legal advice.

Q:What general books do you recommend?

A:Divorce for Dummies, 3rd Edition, (March 2009) by John Ventura and Mary Reed is a good sources for general information. It is not state specific. They also have a series of articles which are good reading including: "Is Divorce Ahead? Recognizing the Signs of Trouble and "Telling Your Children about the Divorce" .

		Divorce for Dummies writes: Locating the right attorney takes time. To start your search, you can develop a list of potential attorneys by ............Calling the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (312-263-6477), which can provide you with a list of attorneys in your area who specialize in divorce and family law. To become a member of this association, 75 percent of an attorney’s practice must be in matrimonial law, the attorney must have been practicing for at least ten years, pass a national exam, and submit to a stringent screening process. You can head for the Academy's Web site at www.aaml.org.
		A book which has an emphasis on the emotional side of divorce and addresses at some length issues relating to children is: Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (February 2001).
		The first 2006 book on Collaborative Divorce -- written for a person who may be going through a divorce is, "The Collaborative Way to Divorce: The Revolutionary Method that Results in Lower Stress, Lower Costs and Happier Kids -- WITHOUT GOING TO COURT" by Stuart G. Webb and Ronald D Ousky. Stuart Webb is generally recognized as being the founder of Collaborative Law in 1990. This book is somewhat shorter and easier to read than the next book.
		A very similar book which is also excellent reading for an individual considering traditional adversarial divorce or collaborative divorce is, "Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, REsolve Legal Issues and Move on with Your Life" by Pauline Tesler and Peggy Thompson. The emphasis of this book is on the value of a team in a collaborative divorce. It is longer and far more detailed than "The Collaborative Way to Divorce."

A good discussion from "Your Divorce Advisor" book comes from the preface: "The idea for this book evolved for years of practice as a matrimonial lawyer and as a clinical psychologist. Our clients would repeatedly ask us questions we could not answer to their satisfaction, because although the question was related to divorce, the client was asking the lawyer a question about family interaction, or the client was asking a therapist a legal question. We gradually realized how much our fields overlap not only in subject matter but in strategy. The old-fashioned strategy of “take no prisoners” tactics, does not work for families. The best strategy from either perspective is to take care of yourself and your family (for you are still a family), especially your children."

I liked the following paragraph in the introduction to their book which states:

Over the years, we’ve learned that divorce is a land of misinformation. Sources of misinformation include parents, bitter friends, neighbors, sit-coms. These people may attempt to help but their circumstances are so different than yours that their advice just doesn’t apply to you and your situation. Each family is unique.

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers web site references two pamphlets, available online: “Stepping Back From Anger,” and “Making Marriage Last: A Guide to Preventing Divorce,” two excellent references for parties involved in or thinking about a divorce. Their publication: A Divorce Manual: A Client Handbook is also worthwhile reading. Finally, a basic document entitled, “Children’s Bill of Rights” by the AAML provides a good basic outline of what it refers to as the “rights” of children going through a divorce. This is worthwhile reading as a part of my overall outline regarding “Do’s and Don’ts in Custody Cases.”

Q:What books about children and divorce do you like?

A:Books I can recommend to clients include:

The Truth about Children and Divorce (Amazon), by Robert E. Emery, Ph.D. (August 1, 2004). See also: Emery on Divorce website.

Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child. (Revised Ed. 1997) This is considered a classic in the field and while it is a bit simplistic it is still worthwhile.

Helping Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way. (1999). The thesis of this book is that kids tend to blame themselves for a divorce. It concentrates on children age 6 to 17 and drawings, games, poetry, role playing, etc. for children whose parents are divorcing.

The Gitlin Law Firm, P.C., provides the above information as a service to potential and current clients. A person's accessing the information contained in this web site, is not considered as retaining The Gitlin Law Firm for any case nor is it considered as providing legal advice. The Gitlin Law Firm cannot guarantee the outcome of any case.

The Gitlin Law Firm, P.C.
Practice Limited to Family Law
663 East Calhoun Street
Woodstock, IL 60098
815/338-9401

www.gitlinlawfirm.com